We are all feeling a little overwhelmed right now, and that includes our kids. In times of increased stress, it’s normal to see issues with meltdowns, increased clinginess, and even aggression from children and teenagers. They are experiencing some of the same emotions we are, but they may not know what the emotion is or how to handle it in the same way that adults do. A sense of control is important to help everyone deal with anxiety.
Routines can increase everyone’s sense of control because they allow you to know what to expect. Trying to incorporate some things into your day that stay the same all week can be helpful. Having bedtimes and mealtimes at the same time each day can increase your child’s sense of security through routine. Try to set aside the same time each day for your child to do their schoolwork, such as after breakfast or after lunch. Also, adding in a quiet time to your daily routine can be helpful for everyone. Quiet time is a short time that kids can spend independently in their rooms either napping, playing quietly, or reading. If this isn’t part of your routine now and you want to try it, start quiet time for about 30 minutes at first and increase if wanted. Try setting a timer or give older kids a clock and let them know when quiet time is over. Routines can take a while to feel natural, so if you make any changes don’t worry if they don’t work perfectly right away.
Knowing coping skills can add to your child’s sense of control, as this gives kids (and adults!) options of how to react to big feelings. Here are two activities that, with practice, can help manage emotions. Throughout the week, adults can use and model these techniques for your kids. This will help show them how and encourage them to use coping skills as needed.
Favorite Place
Get out drawing supplies! Have both child and adult think about their own favorite places. This could be their room, a favorite vacation spot, the park, or somewhere imaginary. Draw your favorite spot using as much detail as you can. Utilize the 5 senses to draw or write what you see, hear, touch, smell, and taste in this spot. This is a safe and comforting place that you or your child can think of at any time. Spending 5 minutes daily thinking about this spot can be calming and help with mood. This can be done anytime throughout the day when you or your child are in a positive mood. After some daily practice it can help to remind children to think of their favorite place when they are upset or stressed as a way to calm down. This can also help at bedtime. Keep the finished art as a reminder of your safe place.
5 Senses
This is another activity that can be used for any age. To help interrupt meltdowns or times of stress, ask your child (or yourself) to go through the 5 senses. Name 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste. This helps interrupt your mind’s rumination on stressors and worry thoughts and can help you move out of a meltdown or anxious thought patterns.
Resources
The following article talks more about how anxiety can show up in children and teenagers as meltdowns or aggression.
Regression and acting like they are younger is typical for children in times of stress. This article talks more about what you might notice in your child.
Favorite Place Meditation from Insight Timer
This information is for educational purposes only and is not intended to diagnose or treat any mental health conditions. Rebecca Agnew, LCSW has a private practice in State College, PA.