Right now a lot of children are having more difficulty with bed time routines than they did in the past. Most children go through time periods when they have bad dreams and nighttime anxieties. It makes sense if this is increasing for your child due to the changes in routine and stress that they might be noticing. Anxieties and fears don’t always come out during the day since we are busier and able to distract ourselves. The separation from parents at bedtime can be a large source of stress for kids. Talking about ways to handle your child’s specific nighttime issues during the day can help give you tools to use at bedtime. Here are activities to help get the conversations started. You can use the relaxation exercises even if your child is not experiencing nighttime fears.
4 Doors Exercise
Ask your kids to think of 4 things they would like to think about at bedtime. Have them draw 4 doors and draw or write what they would like to think about while falling asleep. At bedtime ask them which doors they’d like to go through and plan to share your stories in the morning. This gives your child the information that they have control over their thoughts and can choose to focus on the happier thoughts.
Bad Dreams
Have your child draw their bad dream. Talk about it together and ask your child how they could change their dream so that it ends differently. Help your child come up with their own ideas, but if they can’t, give them some suggestions. For example, if they’re dreaming about monsters attacking maybe their favorite superhero can swoop in to save the day. Make sure to draw the happy ending!
Muscle Relaxation
Muscle relaxation can be a nice addition to the bedtime routine. This involves relaxing each muscle group one at a time. While lying down you can lead your child through this process. Introduce the idea to them by telling them that you will both be calming down your bodies. While talking calmly and slowly, you can say something like this:
“First let’s think about our feet. Our feet are warm and cozy and relaxed. (pause) Let’s think about our lower legs. Our lower legs are warm and cozy and relaxed. (pause) Let’s think about our upper legs . . .” Go through your entire body and end by saying – “Let’s think about our entire bodies. Our bodies are warm and cozy and relaxed.” You can include things like noses and ears too, laughter is a great stress relief!
Resources
Article - Helping Your Anxious Child Overcome Bedtime Fears - includes 4 Doors Activity
Bedtime Meditation for Parents and Kids – from Ten Percent Happier
Meditations and other free resources - from Ten Percent Happier
This information is for educational purposes only and is not intended to diagnose or treat any mental health conditions. Rebecca Agnew, LCSW has a private practice in State College, PA.
#Bedtime #Baddreams #Relaxation #RebeccaAgnew
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